There are many bases for dating and sexual relationships in the world of love. It’s important to get to know your options so you can make informed decisions.
If you’ve never had a partner before then the “bases” myth is just a myth. However, sexual bases and relationship bases are real. Although we don’t know why we use baseball metaphors to describe sex, we do.
They are basically the level of sexual intimacy that you have experienced with your partner. It’s not scary, and it doesn’t make you any less of a person.
From where did the use of baseball to describe sexual bases originate?
The interesting story behind the use of baseball terminology to describe sexual bases is actually quite fascinating. This is something you’ve probably heard before.
The American baseball metaphor was invented to describe the intensity of intimate relationships. These are not new concepts.
Billy Joel and Meatloaf – maybe they’re too far gone, but these are great artists from the seventies or eighties. You see where that takes us.
Baseball metaphors are just like them. These metaphors aren’t just for baseball. Sexual education teachers also use them when discussing sex with their students. These metaphors are now part of sexual life.
These are the four bases of sexual and romantic relationships
Because they all focus on how “deep” you are with someone, relationships bases, dating bases, and sexual bases are the same.
It’s much easier to talk to your partner about your sexual experience by using bases, without getting into too many details.
It is important to know that there is no definitive definition of each sexual base. Funny enough, most people understand each base without official approval.
This article will cover everything you need about sexual bases and relationships, as well as the baseball metaphors that can be used for sex.
1. First base
This is probably everyone’s favorite base. It’s sweet, innocent, and full of emotion. The first base is to kiss *including French kissing*. You might also run your fingers through the hair but it’s not too extreme.
First base is what you would do on your first or second date. This is more like a fun and flirty kissing session.
2. Second base
The second base is kissing. However, it’s more intense. You will see some touching, grabbing, rubbing, and hand-holding above your waist.
If you want to get a visual of the situation, imagine yourself sitting on a couch watching a movie. It gets more intense when you start to kiss.
Touching is more touching. The kissing becomes more intense, your breathing becomes heavier, and you are able to feel their hands inside their shirt. This is the second base.
3. Third base
The third sexual base is when your partner and you stop paying attention to the television. The focus is on you guys. You guys are completely focused on each other.
This includes touching, kissing, and other oral techniques. You’re at third base if you are fondling someone and your hands are in their underwear. Remember, penetration is not possible at the moment.
4. Fourth base/home run
The big finale. This is the final sexual base. Now you’re having sexual intercourse. If you were a virgin, you are now having sexual intercourse.
More metaphors for baseball and relationships
These aren’t bases. However, they are metaphors for baseball that you might hear when discussing sex.
It’s a good idea to know what they mean before discussing it. This will ensure that there is no confusion between you.
We don’t like the term strikeout, but we’ll use it. This is when you aren’t able to engage in foreplay or have sex. Although it sounds like you’re failing at something, this doesn’t mean you’re not capable of doing the right thing.
It was not the right time. We know there will be times when you wish you had sex but it didn’t work out.
Sometimes, it could be that one of you drank excessively or that you didn’t feel connected with someone.
After a bad night at the club, you might hear these guys saying it. You might hear them say, “Nah man, I struck out!”
What does this even mean? They didn’t get sex. They failed to have any sexual encounters. This doesn’t necessarily mean they had sex with a girl, but it can also refer to not speaking to her or engaging in foreplay.
Pitching refers to when a man does backdoor sex. Pitching is when a man performs backdoor sex on another man. This is similar to the “pin and cushion” reference. A “pin” refers to you as the giver, while a “cushion”, on the other hand, is the receiver.
This term is actually outdated, even though it’s still being used. It’s possible to still hear this term, but it’s important to know the facts if you want all the sexual bases people to talk.
It’s basically the opposite of pitching. This means that the man is being penetrated by another person. The catcher is the one who catches the ball. A catch in sex is when a man receives another man’s male member.
This might not be true for you, but it is important to understand all aspects of the relationship.
8. Change hitter
Bisexuals are called switch hitters. The ‘bat’ for one team. Are you getting the baseball references?
This term will be used from time to time, so it is important that you understand what it means. If someone is bisexual, they can use the term.
9. Playing for another team
You may have heard this phrase in movies. They play for the opposing team. This means that they are either gay or lesbian.
Another clever baseball term. But, really, we think that the LGBTQ community would be cooler if you simply said gay or lesbian.
10. Both teams can play
If they play for both teams, it means that the person is bisexual. There are many terms to remember since switch-hitter is the same thing. However, you may hear it so it’s important to be familiar with it.
11. You have to run the bases
This is a term you won’t normally use unless you’re talking about someone younger who is experimenting with intimacy and sex. If someone is trying out sexual relationships, “Running the bases”, means they are experimenting.
They may also be sharing their beds with others and trying out different things. Another way to describe it is “playing on the pitch” or “testing out the bases”.
Before you attempt to build a relationship, here are some tips
It doesn’t matter what sexual base you are trying to reach, it’s important to understand what you’re getting yourself into and be prepared for it.
These are some gems of wisdom, no matter what type of relationship you’re building.
1. Ask your friends for help
Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help if you don’t know what each base is. It can be confusing to remember all the details for each base at first.
You can also ask your partner for advice so you are both on the same page. Maybe they call it something entirely different.
2. Both of you must agree to it
Make sure that you are both clear on what you want before you go out hitting the streets. Make sure you both agree and know where the boundaries are.
Talk about it in a conversation. If you aren’t able to discuss it, it’s not worth it.
3. Make sure you have the right gear
We’re getting too excited with all the baseball metaphors. Seriously, you need the right gear if you want to experiment with baseball. Are you going to hit a home run right away? Most likely not.
Sometimes things can happen when you least expect them. You should be prepared. When we refer to gear, we mean having the right contraception.
4. You can always stop
You might feel uncomfortable trying something new for the first time.
Although it’s easy to believe you’re ready for anything, once you get into the game, your perspective might change. It’s perfectly normal for this to happen.
Tell your partner that you are ready to quit. You need to be heard. You don’t have the right to do anything just because you think you’re okay with it. Then you realize that you weren’t.
5. Do not be afraid to discuss your relationship bases
We mentioned earlier that you should not be able to talk about relationship bases if you aren’t comfortable doing so. This is so true, it’s worth a deeper mention.
You shouldn’t do anything if you don’t have the ability to communicate with the person with whom you are sexually intimate. It’s not always easy, and it can be embarrassing at times. But, you are sharing your most intimate parts here.
You should question your relationship with someone who doesn’t feel comfortable discussing such topics.
Are relationship bases really important?
It’s easy for people to get overwhelmed by all the sexual milestones and dating bases. Ask yourself this question: Do the relationship and sexual milestones really mean anything? It is a waste of time and effort to set milestones.
It’s better to move at your own pace than to try to measure it by bases. Trust us, you won’t get a medal just because you hit a certain base. You won’t get a medal just because you hit a specific base.
Only you and your partner should know what sexual bases you have. It is your responsibility to keep it private.
It’s true, however, that some people enjoy sharing their sexual adventures with others. It’s common to hear men bragging about their sexual adventures, but don’t let that fool you. Relationship bases were created to provide a guideline for these kinds of conversations.
Our advice? These sexual bases are not important. Seriously. Let things unfold naturally. You’ll be more satisfied with it and won’t have to worry about pressure.
We’ve covered all the baseball metaphors used for sex. Now you know the basics of relationships and how to have fun. Enjoy the ride and stay safe. You don’t need to cover everything in one go.