This could be surprising, especially if he seemed to be drawn to you before. However, some people find out they are gay only after having a relationship with at minimum one female or having been involved in sexual relationships with another male. Maybe he is sexually open and attracted to many people.
He likely did not receive this acknowledgment overnight. He had a half-year to sort this out but was still trying to figure out how to tell you that it wouldn’t cause you to be so upset.
In some cases, gay men may not even know they are gay but believe they can “turn their back on themselves” by getting together with a beautiful woman. They may be very skilled at convincing girls they are gay, but then eventually stop pretending.
Whatever the explanation, it doesn’t matter how interesting. There are some things you shouldn’t do, no matter how disturbed you may be.
1. Support one another
Recognize the difficulty of your boyfriend telling you that he is gay or bisexual. And resist any urges to get into a rage. It may seem like you have wasted a lot of time in an unproductive relationship. But, there are always lessons to be learned.
Even though you may not be able to appreciate it right now, this is the type of experience that will allow you to grow as a person.
You’re not likely to consider this one of yours, but you have shared many good times as a couple.
You should never make your boyfriend feel guilty about any wasted time. He’s just as a victim as you are. He didn’t know he was attracted to/not just women or felt that he needed to be.
He cannot change his homosexuality, no matter what your opinion.
2. Do not blame yourself
You shouldn’t blame your boyfriend for putting you here, but you can’t blame him. Your boyfriend will still be gay or bisexual, no matter what weight loss you have made, how many birthday surprises he had in mind, or how many romantic dinners he cooked.
His sexual orientation is about him and not what you did.
You wouldn’t be interested in a woman who is straight if she tried to woo you. Accept that he is the same for you.
Don’t focus on the things you could have done differently to save the relationship.
3. Talk to family and friends
It is difficult to experience a breakup, especially if it occurs in this manner. However, the support from your friends and loved ones will be invaluable as you heal.
If you and your ex-loved one share many of the same friends and he doesn’t want them to find out, confide in people who don’t know him. Be vague about mutual friends for a while.
However, he can’t expect you not to tell anyone about the split. After he has had a few weeks to adjust, you can share more details with those who are close to you. People he knows will find out his true preferences if he begins to go out with other men.
4. Do not offer to put him up with men
You may feel compelled to make an effort to get him to date, other men, either because you don’t know what to say or because you want to stay in the guy’s good graces. Setting up a soon-to-be ex, regardless of their gender, isn’t the same thing as setting up a female friend.
Matchmaking will only lead to awkwardness and embarrassment for both of you. You may also feel the temptation to ruin a budding relationship by telling him you aren’t ready to see him with a girl after introductions have been made.
5. Do not try to change his mind
You may feel shocked at first when he spills the beans.
Unfortunately, the chances of this working out are slim. He’s probably certain that if he confessed this information to you, it was true. Do not agree to or offer to continue a charade of relationships for social reasons, no matter what you do.
Your happiness is more important than this, and you won’t find your true soulmate if it’s not him.
6. You shouldn’t completely cut him out of the life you lead
You can be angry, sad, or just plain uncomfortable around your ex-boyfriend. Take some time to grieve with him, but don’t stop communicating.
He’s now aware that he doesn’t want to be intimate with women or just women. However, you must have been compatible if you’ve managed to stay together so long.
You should maintain at most a casual relationship. You should keep in touch with him if he doesn’t respond to your messages or calls. He may be embarrassed by what happened and will try again.
Although it may seem like your boyfriend is gay or bisexual, it’s not. It’s possible to feel dumbfounded for a time like the world has suddenly turned upside down. If you see your boyfriend with someone romantically, it will likely hurt a lot. These feelings will pass, but don’t panic.
You’ll be able to look back fondly on the good times and not dwell on the bad ending in a few months. You’ll eventually be grateful that he let go of you, as you can now find someone who will love every bit of you.
All of the above is dependent on him. Some people are trying to become others and need help. Some are bisexual to find out if they like women.
